He's a real pro at the art of douchebaggery....

It's not all fun folks, and sometimes you have to put down the bar towel and deal with the technicality of things. Someday, this could happen to you. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.


On *****-

I first met **** last spring. He frequented ***** after work, was relatively quiet, and liked to talk about his family, job, and eventually his divorce. Then his conversations turned to discussions about his ex-wife, women, etc. He began demanding my full attention and would often get mad when I engaged in conversation with other bar guests, getting visibly irritated and vocal about it. He made several attempts to begin an out of work relationship with me, promising to take me anywhere I wanted to go, buy me anything I wanted to have, etc. On several occasions he would attempt to slip me money, usually in the form of twenty-dollar bills, which I never took. All of his advances were politely declined.

Sometime during the fall, **** stopped coming into ****.

Then, early this winter he showed up on a Sunday evening. He was already seated at the bar when I started my shift. I said my hellos to the other guests and made my way over to him to see how he had been. He told me he had been sick, and out of town for work. We talked for a few minutes; I served him another beer, and then proceeded to take care of the other bar guests. I’m guessing this agitated him, because as I made my way back over to him his entire demeanor had changed. He appeared angry, fidgety, and burst out with “What the hell are you still doing working in a dump like this? ” To which I simply replied that I liked working at ****, enjoyed bartending, my co-workers, guests, etc. He attempted to argue with me, saying I was better than ****, etc. Again, my only response was that I liked working there. He started getting loud, said that he felt uncomfortable, and demanded to be cashed out immediately. I did as he asked, and on his way out he approached the morning bartender who was off the clock and sitting with friends. He then very audibly told **** that he “…hates the fucking bitches that work here…” and stormed out the door. Several other guests and employees were witness to his outburst and were just as surprised as I was by it.

Months went by before I saw **** again.

It was a Saturday evening and I was walking in to start my shift. I saw ****, we made eye contact, and he promptly made a beeline for the closest manager. I saw him gesturing in my direction, and assumed the discussion was about me, though the manager he spoke with never approached me about their conversation. Throughout the night I was approached by several other employees, telling me that he had made statements to them about hating me, called me a bitch, a skank, etc. He even went as far as to approach the bar and bad-mouth me to the other bartender while I stood right there.

He came in the next night and did the same thing.

In fact, he has made it a point to say degrading things about me to other employees, and stand within earshot to say unwarranted and insulting things about me to other guests. This happens every time he comes in-which over the past few weeks has been much more frequently.

Upon the last night **** was a guest in ****, he discussed with **** the fact that he slanders myself and another employee, ****, intentionally. He premeditated an altercation with **** later that night. This began with him following her around the restaurant, and ended with him yelling, inches from her face, “Fuck you bitch!” (among other things) and storming out of the building. He then texted ****, the employee whom he had discussed his plan with, saying things along the lines of “…I showed that bitch…” and looking for congratulations of some sort.
**** is a thirty-seven year old man, recently divorced, potentially dealing with some serious emotional issues. He intentionally targets, antagonizes, slanders, and harasses **** employees who share nothing more in common to trigger this than refusing to begin a relationship with him outside of work.
I feel extremely uncomfortable when he is in the building and worry about the lengths he will go to in order to upset **** and myself since his actions escalate upon every visit. I am also worried about the damage he is doing to my reputation within the company and with other guests.
More so, I am disappointed with the fact that it is implied that **** and I should just put-up with this type of harassment so that the restaurant can continue to allow him service. His actions are out of line, unwarranted, and honestly make me feel unsafe in the workplace.
Our restaurant is full of amazing guests and employees who are just as upset by his behavior as myself.
I am hoping that the documentation of my interactions with him will help to keep him out of our restaurant and put an end to all of this.

Thanks.

If there is anything else I need to do in regards to this, please let me know.